Sunday, January 31, 2010

Talking about Tragedy with Kids

The massive human tragedy we have been witnessing in Haiti these past several weeks gives rise yet again to what theologians have always called "the Theodocy Question": How can a benevolent, loving, all-powerful God permit evil to happen?" I suspect human beings have been asking this question since the beginning of time. In the past several weeks, I have seen newsletters and websites that offer help in talking through this question with older elementary age children and teens, but the experts have largely been silent on this question as we try and talk with our youngest children about why bad things happen to good people.

We have a tendency as parents and church professionals to want to shelter our kids from upsetting, scary and painful things - and in many cases, we should spare them from information that is not developmentally appropriate for them. I remember back to September 11, 2001 when Church professionals were advised to remind younger children that the were safe and nothing was going to happen to them. It was a natural piece of advice, but not a healthy or useful one. Children were already aware that something truly evil and horrible had happened. NOT honestly talking with them about what had happened and where God was present to us in it took neither their questions nor our Christian faith seriously. They KNEW evil had happened and it was our job then to proclaim the Gospel truth that God is with us in our suffering and is ALWAYS at work in ways both seen and unseen to redeem it.

And so it is now with Haiti. We have witnessed an humanitarian disaster of almost incomprehensible dimensions that goes far beyond the actual earthquake. One of the poorest countries of the world to begin with, bad government, abject poverty and lack of resources were already at work long before the earthquake(s) hit. What we are seeing boggles the minds of adults, never mind children. So what do we say?

Here are some things that might be helpful:

1. Children will think somewhat concretely about the facts - particularly the bodies. So many bodies - maybe some of those of people they know - will not be recovered. No one knows where they are. This troubled children after 9/11 too. Reassure your children that whether or not we know where the people are, GOD DOES!!! Every soul is know to God and God does not lose track of anybody. One of the most moving pieces of art I saw following 9/11 was drawn by a 5th grade girl. In it, the two towers were burning and people were jumping from the buildings, but they were not falling down. Above the Towers was a larger-than-life-sized Jesus with his arms outstretched and he was collecting the people in his arms. Jesus stands above Haiti too with his arms outstretched carrying souls home to the God who created and loves them in both life and death.

2. Reassure children that God does NOT will suffering. EVER. Jesus died once and for all on the cross to put an end to suffering. God does not want people to hurt each other or be hurt. No one in Haiti did ANYTHING to bring such massive suffering upon themselves. Our world does not yet look the way God intends it to be; the creation has yet to be perfected. As Jesus reminds us in Matthew's Gospel, "for He makes the the sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous." Tragedy happens to good people; bad people experience joy. It is all a part of the human condition.

3.Christians believe that Jesus will return at the end of time as we know it and the full Kingdom of God will bloom. But that does not mean that Christians get to sit and twiddle their thumbs until Jesus' comes again in glory. As Theresa of Avila wrote in the 13th century, "Christ has no body but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours,Yours are the eyes with which he looks Compassion on this world, Yours are the feet with which he walks to do good, Yours are the hands, with which he blesses all the world." WE are the ones who bear Christ to the broken and hurting in this world. so get your kids and your family involved in doing something to help. Collect cans and recycle them and then donate the money you collect to UMCOR. Help sew blankets, collect medical supplies, etc. And remember, that while Haiti is at the forefront of our attention, suffering is all around us. The local food pantry still needs staples, the local pet shelter still needs folks to exercise pets and clean up after them. There are ALWAYS opportunities to serve as Christ's hands and heart. Actively engaging in this will help your children move through the sense of powerlessness we all feel when such a huge tragedy strikes.

God is not silent when tragedy strikes. God grieves with the suffering and moves the hearts of those who can be inspired to bear witness to and to ease the suffering of others. As John Westerhoff writes, "God has created a world in which God can accomplish nothing without our help and we can accomplish nothing without God's help." YOU and YOUR children are Christ's hands in the world. Serve and remain confident in your heart that God is using you and your children in the plan for the redemption of the world.

Faithfully,
Elizabeth

Sunday, January 24, 2010

It's God's Story; It's Our Story

This morning, we presented Bibles to our 3rd graders. This is a tradition, not only at SUMC, but at many other protestant churches. When our children reach the age where they are able to read with some fluency, we present them with the Holy Bible.

When I asked the children this morning what they had just been given, one of them answered, "The Holy Bible." I pushed further and asked, "But what IS it?" Well, 3rd graders standing in front of a whole group of grown-ups aren't the most vocal of folks, so I answered the question, "The Bible is the Story of God's love affair with human beings. It is the story of how God comes close to us and we come close to God."

We tend to devalue "story" in our culture, thinking that "stories" are some how not quiet real. They are "make believe" and so not rational and we dismiss them as untrue. But that totally misses the point of what "Story" is intended to be. Jerome Berryman, Director of the Center for the Theology of Childhood describes the purpose of story this way:

Stories are where all of us, children and adults, find our identity, our
family. Stories are where we challenge the deadly messages of the powers-
that be; whether greed and overwork or poverty and powerlessness, that rob
our lives of relationship and meaning. Stories are where we integrate the
experiences of our lives into powerful acts of recognition, celebration and
meaning as we make our way through time and space. Through story, we invite one another to make meaning of our world and ultimately of our lives . . .to carry stories within us is to become wisdom-bearers, God-bearers.


Episcopal priest (and professor of Pastor Joel’s at Duke), John Westerhoff, builds on this understand of story as he thinks about the Christian Bible:

Sacred stories speak to our deepest, unconscious longings and questions, our
problems and predicaments, our inner and outer struggles in human life. They exist in the form of truth that only intuition and imagination can provide, truth just as significant and real as that which comes through logical analysis and scientific probing. The biblical story is a symbolic narrative. That is why it enlightens us about ourselves and fosters our growth. It offers meaning on varying levels and enriches our lives in countless ways.



The Story told in the Christian Bible – that Story of God’s love affair with us and our response of love back to God – is THE meaning-making vehicle for Christians in all times and in all places. And it is quite the Story. There is nothing any of us experience in our lives that cannot be found in its pages. As we re-read and hear yet again the Stories of our ancestors in the faith’s struggle to make meaning out of their lives, we invite their struggles to help us make meaning of our lives’ questions, struggles, celebrations and disappointments.

So – dig our your Bible and re-visit it’s pages. Did you have a favorite Bible story as a child? Re-read and see what it tells you about the adult you have become. Is there a passage that you have held on to when hope was in short supply and you didn’t know how you were going to get from one minute to the next? Is there a favorite psalm that sums up how you felt the morning your child was born or the time when your parent died? Look at those passages again. Share them with your children. Talk about what they have meant to you, what they do mean to you and what you hope they will mean to them.

The Christian Story is an on-going one. While in Church language, the canon is closed and we add no more “books” or chapters to the official Story, one book remains uncompleted and continues to be lived out by every generation of Christians. That book is the Acts of the Apostles, which directly follows the four Gospels in the New Testament. The Acts of the Apostles is the chapter that tells us of how God’s people are continuing to live out God’s Story. What will you add to the Story?

Faithfully,
Elizabeth

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Entering "the Doldrums"

One of my favorite children’s books is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norman Juster. The story begins when a very bored young Milo returns home from school one day to find a tollbooth kit in his room. He quickly assembles it, takes the map offered and drives his toy car through the tollbooth. At once he finds himself in the Land of Expectations. Enjoying the ride he pays no attention and suddenly finds himself in a dreary place called “the Doldrums.” Every thing is colorless. Neither thinking nor laughing is permitted, and nothing much happens in this very stagnant place.

While there is a great deal more to the story (I’ll let you read it to find out how it all turns out), it seems to me that the first chapters of The Phantom Tollbooth describe exactly where we find ourselves as the Christmas season gives way to a lengthy, and what can feel colorless, Epiphany. The Christmas season gives rise to all sorts of expectations. Each year we struggle to make Christmas more wonderful than the last. We decorate lavishly, purchase lovely presents to make our children and others smile, we eat more than we should, rush around like mad people to get it all done and then, somehow – Christmas just doesn’t live up to our expectations - often times because we expected that all the bustle, glitter and gifts will fill the empty places inside us. By mid-January, the second Sunday after the Epiphany, we suddenly discover we have arrived in “the Doldrums.” The Christmas decorations have been put away, the tree has been dragged to its final resting place and the credit card bills have arrived. We find ourselves agreeing with Milo, “It seems to me that almost everything is a waste of time.”

It is hard under all the clutter of what Christmas has come to be in our culture to find the meaning of what Christmas IS for Christians – that miraculous discovery that GOD IS WITH US!!!! We often feel let down in our Christmas expectations because we haven’t been expecting what we find at the manger. Milo is reminded, "Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens." Christmas is not about what we expect; it is the ultimate revelation of the unexpected. God made flesh is both far simpler and way more complicated than we thought we wanted or needed. God’s coming to us in a human baby transforms our human experience. Our lives are lifted up and made meaningful because our goodness is restored and we realize we have been invited into partnership with God in re-creating the world. Our lives become far more than a “waste of time.” But we have to be looking for that truth. Milo is told, "There is much worth noticing that often escapes the eye." Distracted by the glitter and the bustle of what Christmas has become, we miss God being born among us. What is "worth noticing" about the Christmas season, many times "escapes" our eyes.

As Epiphany unfolds, we continue to catch the glimmers of the truth of God’s transforming love for us. We yearn for the deeper meaning even though we feel sometimes that we, like Milo, are stumbling around in the colorless miasma of life without joy and excitement. What lies underneath “the Doldrums” is the fear of disappointed hope in a yearning we are afraid to name. Yet, we continue to yearn for that meaning in our lives.

As wise character in The Phantom Tollbooth speaking about meaning and purpose reminds Milo, “You know that it's there, but you just don't know where - but just because you can never reach it doesn't mean that it's not worth looking for.” And that is what the season of Epiphany is about – it is about both our deepest yearning and how we are led to look for it. But unlike Milo, we KNOW where to look. The Star that illuminated Bethlehem and led the shepherds and the wisemen to the baby Jesus, still shines for us today. Gradually, as we follow ray by ray, “the Doldrums” becomes filled with light and in that light, we see the gift we have been given in the baby Jesus and the gifts our hearts make in response. It is this light that lifts us from “the Doldrums.” We may not know what our ultimate destination will look like- and it will be beyond our wildest expectations - but as long as we keep following the Star’s light, we can be confident we will get there. The light will continue to get brighter and brighter the closer we get.

So here is your assignment for this Season after the Epiphany. Get yourself a copy of The Phantom Tollbooth. Read it aloud to your kids. Follow the light, as Milo drives his toy car towards it. His arrival at the place of light is miraculous to behold and is one of my favorite images of what it means to co-create with Jesus the Kingdom of God. Let me know what you think!

Faithfully,
Elizabeth

Sunday, January 10, 2010

"We Welcome You as a Member of the Family of Christ"

This morning, we welcomed a new child into the household of God through Holy Baptism. Baptism is my very favorite thing that happens in Church- I never get through one dry-eyed. When we as God’s family welcome the child or adult being baptized into our midst and promise to support them and help them grow in the faith, I am always awed by the gift and the responsibility we are given.

The Christian truth we claim and the Christian discipline we live is a VERY counter-cultural message in our culture. Living as a Christian is not now (and never has been) a job for the faint-hearted. It requires daily practice, constant attention to the Holy Spirit’s directions, Bible reading, a habit of prayer and praise, loving and ethical interactions in our day-today lives, and an abiding sense of whose we are. We cannot do it alone. We need the company of other Christians- and that is why at our baptisms the congregation literally has our backs. The company of God’s faithful people bears witness to us as we make our baptismal promises. It is there to educate and guide us in sermons and through Church School, invites us into service on behalf of others, and while praying with us, teaches us how to pray. This loving community encourages us when we feel defeated, loves us when we fail and shares our hurts and joys. You have heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child?” Well, it takes a “great cloud of witnesses surrounding us” (Hebrews 2:1) to raise a Christian.

All of this is awesome. But what happens when that brand-new Christian (usually an infant) goes home? For generations upon generations, the home was the principal place where new Christians were made. That is a more than daunting task for many Christian parents. Many of us were raised with no faith or in religious traditions in which we have ceased to believe. The cafeteria of beliefs in the world around us calls out from our televisions, computer, ipods and from neighbors and friends. Just exactly are we to go about the task of raising Christian children at home?

Often the easiest way to begin is to set aside a few minutes at the meal time each day where the entire family is present. You may have to be creative if your family has different start, eating and end times of the day! Find five minutes in the day when you can all be together and PRAY together. In our home, we make sure that we eat together – even if it is snack – every day. This is the prayer we say, “Thank you for this food – for rest and home and all things good. For wind and rain and sun above, and most of all for those we love.” Sometimes we say it in parts, sometimes all together. But it is OUR family prayer. I even have it posted inside on the door of the cupboard where our snacks live – just as a reminder. Some families have more time in the morning or evening. The United Methodist Book of Worship has a section that includes prayers for morning, midday and evening worship beginning on page 568. Take a look through and see what might appeal to your family.

Put a “gratitude” bowl and a “help” bowl on your kitchen table. Invite your kids and spouse and jot down on a small piece of paper things they are thankful for and things they need help with. Collect them each night or once a week when you can be together and read them out loud. Pray together – it could be the Lord’s Prayer or you can simply say, “Lord, hear the thanks and needs of our hearts.”

Bedtimes are another wonderful opportunity to pray together. Is there a bedtime prayer your children already know? You can try, “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Guard me, Jesus, through the night and wake me with the morning light.”

One of my most favorite parts of being a parent is blessing my children. I began when they were babies and as I tucked them into their cribs at night, I traced a small cross on their foreheads and said, “the Lord preserve, protect and defend you.” I had no idea how formative or meaningful this experience was for my children until I had been in a car accident. When I came home from the hospital full of painkillers and medicine, as I was drifting off to sleep, my then eight-year-old son crept into the room. Very gently, I felt him trace the cross on my forehead and whisper, “the Lord preserve, protect and defend you, Mama.” He said nothing else, just quietly left the room. It is a joy to bless my children but a gift beyond words or price to receive their blessing of me.

These are just some small suggestions to get you started on making Christians at home. Maybe you have some ways your family practices faith at home. I would LOVE to hear your traditions and rituals. Please consider sharing them via the comments on this blog!

Faithfully,
Elizabeth

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Epiphany

The Christmas season comes to a close on January 6th, the Feast of the Epiphany. This celebration marks the arrival of the Magi or Wise Ones in Bethlehem. "Epiphany" is a Greek word that means "manifestation," "revelation" and "showing." In the Christian context, it is a celebration that God's revelation in Jesus is for ALL people of ALL nations and tribes for ALL time.

While the Feast of the Epiphany is celebrated on one day (usually the Sunday before January 6 at SUMC), the time between the Feast of Epiphany and Ash Wednesday is known liturgically as the Season After the Epiphany. The symbol of the Epiphany season is the five-pointed star and the seasonal color is usually green representing our on-going life as disciples of Jesus. The Feast of the Epiphany is a "white" Sunday of celebration and there are two other "white" Sundays during this season: the Baptism of our Lord and Transfiguration which occurs on the Sunday before Ash Wednesday.

During the Epiphany Season, the readings we hear in Church focus on Jesus and his disciples. We follow Jesus through his baptism into his ministry to and with the disciples. These are important lessons as they teach us that because we are baptized as Jesus was baptized, we too are disciples who both learn from Jesus and who share, teach and preach the Good News to others.

There are many ways to celebrate the Epiphany Season at home. You can make a "Kings Cake" (see http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1841,151162-249201,00.html) and learn the varying traditions surrounding the cake by a quick reading of Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/King_cake). Many Christian cultures emphasize Epiphany rather than Christmas as the time for gift giving. Take your kids to the library and do a little research about el Dia de los Reyes! Try out some of the customs and traditions and share what you learn as a comment on this blog!

Happy Epiphany to you all!
Elizabeth