A Prayer for Parents

In the parent group with whom I have been meeting the past few weeks, we have been discussing what it means to be a Christian parent. A great deal is expected of us as Christian parents and we worry whether or not we measure up in passing on the faith to our children. Looking through some old files of mine for something I never did find, I came across this anonymous prayer that I had cut-out and used on a bulletin board many years ago. It still speaks volumes to God about what is in our hearts as parents and so I share it here:

Oh Heavenly Father, make me a better parent.

Teach me to understand my children, to listen patiently to what they have to say,

and to answer their questions kindly.

Keep me from interrupting them or contradicting them.

Forbid that I should ever laugh at their mistakes,

or result to shame and ridicule when they displease me.

May I never punish them for my own selfish satisfaction or to show my power.

Let me not tempt my child to steal or lie.

Guide me hour by hour that I may demonstrate by all I say and do

that honesty produces happiness.

Reduce, I pray, the meaness in me.

When I am out of sorts, help me to hold my tongue.

May I ever be mindful that my children are children

and I should not expect of them the judgment of adults.

Let me not rob them of the opportunity to wait on themselves and make decisions.

Bless me with the bigness to grant all their reasonable requests

and the courage to deny them privileges I know will do them harm.

Make me fair and just and kind.

And fit me, O Lord, to be loved and respected and imitated by my children.

Amen.

Stories Told in Water, Grapes and Grain

During this Lenten season, I have been having a wonderful time exploring the sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion with our 2^nd -5^th graders and their parents. As we “play” with water, fire and different kinds of bread, I am reminded all over again about the power of our Christian Story.

Christians are a people set within the Story of God’s loving and saving actions in the world. The sacraments of Baptism and Holy Communion are God’s “show- and- tell” or, as John Wesley wrote in the Articles of Religion, “They are certain signs of grace, and God's good will toward us, by which he doth work invisibly in us, and doth not only quicken, but also strengthen and confirm, our faith in him.” Water, grapes and grain graft us to God’s story. When we pray over the water at Baptism, that water connects us to the water of Creation, the water of the Great Flood, the water the Israelites traveled through on their way out of slavery into freedom, and the water in which Jesus was baptized. We participate in these stories, and through the water, they become part of our experience too. Water is God’s vehicle of new life and it flows throughout Christian life. We are renewed and re-born in it.

As we celebrate Holy Communion each Sunday during Lent, we are given the chance to experience our story as God’s people through the grapes and grain. Just like the baptismal prayer over the water, the communion prayers remind us of who we are, how we got to be that way and what God has done for us in Jesus. As our Pastors lead us in the Great Thanksgiving and then consecrate the bread and cup, listen carefully to the story that is told; the covenants God made with us that we broke, and how Jesus restores us to right relationship with God, “In love you made us for yourself; and when we had fallen into sin and become subject to evil and death, your love remained steadfast . . . Blessed is your Son Jesus Christ whom you sent in the fullness of time to redeem the world” (UMH pg. 62). The prayers may differ a bit from week to week, but through them, the story of our redemption in Jesus is told. In the bread and the juice, the new life given us through Jesus in baptism, is sustained, nurtured and grown by the regular family meal at Christ’s table.

As John Wesley reminds us in his sermon, The Duty of Constant Communion,” The benefits of [Holy Communion] are so great to all that do it in obedience to him; the forgiveness of our past sins and the present strengthening and refreshing of our souls.”We are never too young or too old to be reminded that we are formed by God to be part of God’s story. We are never too young or too old to share the family meal. Eating and drinking together at the table is the visible sign of God’s grace – the place where we all belong, where we all are welcomed and valued, where we are forgiven and restored joyfully to our place in God’s story.

See you at the family table this Sunday!

Dr. Elizabeth

Lenten Communion Thoughts

As part of our communal Lenten discipline, we are experiencing Holy Communion each Sunday during Lent. While our children have been receiving Communion regularly, up until now, they have received it with their church school class. Lent offers us the opportunity to have our children worship with their families – a grace that brings both blessings and challenges of its own! Here are some tips to help you experience Holy Communion together:

· Worship begins before the service: Remind your children Saturday night or on your way to Church on Sunday morning that we will be sharing God’s special meal together and that everyone is welcome at God’s table.

· Let your children know where you are: On your way to Church School, show your children where you will be sitting so they can find you when they come into Church.

· If your children are readers: help them follow along in the hymnal as we begin the Great Thanksgiving.

· If your children are not readers yet: Our Church School music program has introduced our children to the music we sing during the Great Thanksgiving and the consecration prayer. Nudge them when it is time and invite them to sing with you.

· Follow the action: Remind your children to watch carefully what the Pastors do with their hands during the prayer of consecration. They take, bless and break the bread and offer up the cup. Watch particularly for the part where the bread is broken.

· Help your children receive: As we come forward to be fed by Jesus, our hands are lifted up, one palm over the other (making a crib or throne for Jesus depending on how it works best for your children) to receive the bread. Then we take the bread and dip it in the cup and place it in our mouths. If your child would like to come forward but does not wish to receive, hands are crossed over the chest so the server knows to bless the child rather than distribute the elements.

· Holy Communion is the food of the baptized Christian: The bread and cup nurture us and help us to grow. Much like the benefit of vitamins, we do not have to know cognitively how Jesus is with us in Holy Communion. We receive grace to grow on when we take the bread and juice into our bodies, souls and hearts!

Remember to say “thank you!”: When you return to your seat, take a minute with your children to say “thank you” to Jesus for having us at his table

Lenten Thoughts

Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the season of Lent. Lent is the forty days (Sundays don't count because each Sunday is a little Easter) period during which we remember Jesus' temptation in the desert following his baptism. It helps us get ready for Holy Week and the celebration of the resurrection at Easter. Most folks associate Lent with fasting or giving up something. This is one Lenten tradition, but there are others. For example, we stop saying the word "Alleluia" beginning on Ash Wednesday. We do not say it again until Easter when we kindle the new fire and light the paschal candle.

It can be hard to keep a "holy Lent" at home. But here are some themes you can share at home as a family during this season. Lent is:

-a time for looking at the things we have done that are wrong and asking forgiveness

of God and those we have wronged.

-a time to grow closer to God by either giving up something or adding something to our lives that helps us focus more on God.

-a time to think about new ways to show our love for others as God shows God's love for us.

-a time to remember our baptismal promises and try to live into them (check out pg. 24 in the UMH Hymnal)

The seasonal color for Lent is purple - it is both the color of penitence and the color of royalty. In the words of the Godly Play story “the Mystery of Easter”, "Purple is the color of kings. We are preparing for the coming of a king and his going and coming again . . . purple is a serious color and it reminds us that something sad is going to happen." (The Complete Guide to Godly Play, Vol. 4, pgs. 29-20). The purple color reminds us that Jesus must die before he can rise again.

There are many ways to incorporate purple into your family life during Lent. A purple scarf in the middle of the table, or purple placemats are easy ways to remind your family daily. Lent is a good time to write a family grace if you don't have a favorite. Learn it together and share it when you are together. Paper chains are another easy way to bring the seasons of the church year into your home. Perhaps each family member might want to write the name of someone or something they are praying for on one of the rings each day and the entire family can share that intention in silence together for a moment before mealtime or bedtime. Small purple napkins can be tucked into your child's lunch box or backpack with a note like "I love you and so does God" or "I am praying for you today." Little things like this connect us to one another and to our larger Christian family - past, present and future!

Be creative! Lent can be a refreshing and nurturing time for us as individuals and families.

Grace and peace,

Dr. Elizabeth

The Doldrums Re-visited

One of my favorite children’s books is The Phantom Tollbooth by Norman Juster. The story begins when a very bored young Milo returns home from school one day to find a tollbooth kit in his room. He quickly assembles it, takes the map offered and drives his toy car through the tollbooth. At once he finds himself in the Land of Expectations. Enjoying the ride he pays no attention and suddenly finds himself in a dreary place called “the Doldrums.” Everything is colorless. Neither thinking nor laughing is permitted, and nothing much happens in this very stagnant place.

While there is a great deal more to the story (I’ll let you read it to find out how it all turns out), it seems to me that the first chapters of The Phantom Tollbooth describe exactly where we find ourselves as this very long Epiphany draws to an end. Christmas has come and gone. Our New Year’s Resolutions and our best intentions have hit brick walls. It seems we have been shoveling snow and breaking up ice damns since forever. Stuck in the Doldrums, we find ourselves agreeing with Milo, “It seems to me that almost everything is a waste of time.”

In the Doldrums, we forget the miraculous discovery of Christmas – GOD IS WITH US!!!! As Epiphany unfolds, we continue to catch the glimmers of the truth of God’s transforming love for us. We yearn for the deeper meaning even though we feel sometimes that we, like Milo, are stumbling around in the colorless miasma of life without joy and excitement. What lies underneath “the Doldrums” is the fear of disappointed hope in a yearning we are afraid to name. Yet, we continue to yearn for that meaning in our lives.

The Epiphany season teaches us that what we expected in a Savior is different than who God sent to us. Rather than saving us from our full humanity, the incarnate Jesus invites us to reclaim it- not what we expected. Milo is reminded, "Expect everything, I always say, and the unexpected never happens." Our God made flesh is the ultimate revelation of the unexpected - both simpler and way more complicated than we thought we wanted or needed. Because of it, our lives are made meaningful because our humanity is restored. We realize we have been invited into partnership with God in re-creating the world. Our lives become far more than a “waste of time.” But we have to be looking for that truth. Milo is told, "There is much worth noticing that often escapes the eye." But buried under the mounds of snow this winter, it has been hard to notice.

As wise character in The Phantom Tollbooth speaking about meaning and purpose reminds Milo, “You know that it's there, but you just don't know where - but just because you can never reach it doesn't mean that it's not worth looking for.” And that is what the season of Epiphany is about – it is about both our deepest yearning and how we are led to look for it. But unlike Milo, we KNOW where to look. Jesus, the light of the world, still shines –even in the snow. Gradually, as we follow ray by ray, “the Doldrums” becomes filled with light and in that light we see the gift we have been given in Jesus and the gifts our hearts make in response. It is this light that moves us through“the Doldrums.” We may not know what our ultimate destination will look like- and it will be beyond our wildest expectations - but as long as we keep following Jesus, we can be confident we will get there. And just as the days get longer, the light will continue to get brighter and brighter the closer we get.

So here is your assignment for this last week of the Season after the Epiphany. Get yourself a copy of The Phantom Tollbooth. Read it aloud to your kids. Follow the light, as Milo drives his toy car towards it. His arrival at the place of light is miraculous to behold and is one of my favorite images of what it means to co-create with Jesus the Kingdom of God. Let me know what you think!

Grace and peace, Dr.Elizabeth

Space for Family Faith

Here we are fast approaching the 7^th Sunday after the Epiphany! As we come to the final Sundays of this season and get ready to move into Lent, now is a good time to take stock of our homes as a place where God dwells among us.

Does your family have a gathering space where conversation, laughter and family identity happen? Have you looked at this space lately to see what makes it special? Are there photos of family members both near and far? Mementos of special significance? These things are sacred objects your family. This space is the perfect place to acknowledge the God who is already present in the fellowship that happens there.

And here is the opportunity to make a small “holy center” somewhere in this space. Put a Bible there and maybe a collection of prayers and blessings and/or a bowl where family members can drop a slip of paper with a prayer request or a thanksgiving written on it. Add a candle or two. And then the next time you and your family are together enjoying each other, take a minute to recognize the presence of God’s Spirit among you. Say “thank you” together. Share the prayer requests in the bowl and finish by saying the Lord’s Prayer together. It isn’t fancy or complicated; it is just the honesty and gratitude of being a family together in the presence of God and each other. Enjoy the Divine and human company!

Grace and peace,

Dr. Elizabeth

Strength for the Journey

Epiphany is a season that can be as short as 4 Sundays or as long as 9 – it depends on the date of Easter. Our Epiphany season is LOOOOOONG this year (9 Sundays) – sort of like the winter weather, it seems to go on forever.

As we live this Epiphany season with our shovels in hand and our buckets under the leaking ice dams, it is a good time to ask what sustains on our faith journey when things seem ordinary, troublesome or just plain wearying.

Holy Communion – the meal we shared last Sunday- is one of the primary ways the Christian faith journey is nourished along the way. In blessing, breaking, taking and sharing the bread and cup, we invite Jesus into our souls and the community of faith. Like vitamins or a booster shot, we gain strength, nourishment, and resilience in our journey. The sense of well-being and contentment Communion offers us can be much like sitting down with your family over hot chocolate after shoveling yet again the driveway and sidewalk. The bread and wine restore us in each other’s company and we gain the strength to go back out into the world living the Good News – knowing that there are times when faith is ordinary and sometimes can feel as though we are slogging through heavy, wet snow up to our knees.

John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, believed in what he called “the Duty of Constant Communion” because he knew from his own experience that the Christian journey needed regular and frequent nourishment. Stay tuned to the Chronicle and the bulletin – during Lent Pastor Joel invites to experience weekly communion and we will have the chance to share its sustenance together.

Grace and peace,

Dr. Elizabeth